I am a Mormon

I was talking to an LDS friend recently and she was surprised when I called myself a Mormon.  I go to sacrament meeting most weeks, and I have a calling - but she found it strange that I would consider myself a Mormon because of my doubts and dissenting views.

Sadly this is a common perception.  Even my own family has cast dispersion on my sincerity, and motives, and people that I don't know well question the morality of my actions or beliefs.  And so I want to write this message to other transitioning members who may have felt this marginalization

I have a strong commitment to my Mormon heritage.  It's couched in the context of a liberal and non-absolutist faith, but it is abiding.  

Early in my faith transition I felt like I was outside of the church.  In the months and years since, I have come to realize that I am Mormon.  I am a soul wrestling with the doctrine and the scriptures, I'm obsessed with finding truth and letting light and knowledge flow into me, and that is a deeply Mormon trait.

My reason for this journey has been to grow and evolve in knowledge and understanding, and although I feel that the LDS church as an institution is flawed, I'm not going to jettison my heritage.  An artist puts layers and layers of different pigments onto a tapestry, and when the final layer is applied, it is influenced by the depth of every layer that came before it.  The LDS church is part of my identity and it gives me resilience and power.  

Although I can no longer say that I know much of anything, I believe in this community: we are all souls struggling together to understand the nature of God and life.